What's the point of this recipe? I think it was invented by some crazy old fundamentalist grandmother to get her grandkids to practice their bible drill. Recipes like this don't bring me closer to God. Instead, they make me wonder how old-time churches ever drew in new converts. Besides being annoying, this recipe makes a dry, blocky "cake" made up mostly of dried fruits and nuts. (Oh...and a "pinch of Leviticus". That's about all the Leviticus I can handle.) Like a fruitcake, but without the charm. Anyway, it'll help you learn your Old Testament.
1 c. Judges 5:25, last clause
4 1/2 c. I Kings 4:22
2 c. Jeremiah 6:20
2 c. Numbers 17:18
2 c. Nahum 3:12
2 c. I Samuel 30:12
2 T. I Samuel 14:13
6 Jeremiah 17:11
1 pinch Leviticus 2:13
1/2 c. Judges 4:19, last clause
2 T. Amos 4:19
Season to taste with II Chronicles 9:9. Mix and blend as you would a fruitcake and bake.
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Sunday, August 1, 2010
The Awfulness Continues
I love recipes from exotic places. Moroccan tagine, Indian paneer, Vietnamese pho. But how about Monte Carlo? Where, I ask, are the Monte Carloan (Montean Carloan? Monte Carlan? Monte Carloesque?) recipes? WHERE?, I ask you! Where can I find a recipe that uses such native Monte Carlo ingredients as canned pineapple, chili sauce, pimientos, and mayonnaise?
Oh wait! Here! I found it! Authentic Monteana Carloienne cuisine, straight from the source--Ruth Little, in Lubbock, TX.
Monte Carlo Salad (From "Food for Thought", 1989)
Combine 2 T. chili sauce and 3 oz. cream cheese and form into balls about the size of the hole in a pineapple ring. Put a ball into each of 6 slices of pineapple and top with a dollop of mayonnaise. Garnish with truffle slices and pimiento.
I think I finally figured out what this dish has to do with Monte Carlo. My thoughts: The author made this monstrosity and thought, 'Hmmm......it's so good, but what to name it?' So she found a truffle left over in the fridge (we all have leftover truffles sitting in our refrigerators--admit it) and decided that if she made this plate of awfulness prohibitively expensive in relation to the flavor payoff, it would be like going to the casino in....drum roll please......MONTE CARLO! There. Now you know.
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I've tried unsuccessfully to find information regarding the activities of the lemon lobby in 1960s America. Somebody had to be behind all of these awful recipes using lemon jello, lemon ice cream, lemon you-name-it as a base for salads/sauces/etc. Anyhoo--if you're having issues with Montezuma's revenge, the recipe below is sure to plug you up. Or, at the very least, make you vomit, which might take your mind off...ermm.....the other end.
Lemon/Blue Cheese Ice (The recipe, from a 1969 Betty Crocker Cookbook, says this is to be served with meats.)
Mix 1 pint lemon sherbet with 1/2 c. crumbled blue cheese. If your meat was rotted or diseased prior to cooking, this is sure to improve it. Otherwise, you're on your own.
Oh wait! Here! I found it! Authentic Monteana Carloienne cuisine, straight from the source--Ruth Little, in Lubbock, TX.
Monte Carlo Salad (From "Food for Thought", 1989)
Combine 2 T. chili sauce and 3 oz. cream cheese and form into balls about the size of the hole in a pineapple ring. Put a ball into each of 6 slices of pineapple and top with a dollop of mayonnaise. Garnish with truffle slices and pimiento.
I think I finally figured out what this dish has to do with Monte Carlo. My thoughts: The author made this monstrosity and thought, 'Hmmm......it's so good, but what to name it?' So she found a truffle left over in the fridge (we all have leftover truffles sitting in our refrigerators--admit it) and decided that if she made this plate of awfulness prohibitively expensive in relation to the flavor payoff, it would be like going to the casino in....drum roll please......MONTE CARLO! There. Now you know.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I've tried unsuccessfully to find information regarding the activities of the lemon lobby in 1960s America. Somebody had to be behind all of these awful recipes using lemon jello, lemon ice cream, lemon you-name-it as a base for salads/sauces/etc. Anyhoo--if you're having issues with Montezuma's revenge, the recipe below is sure to plug you up. Or, at the very least, make you vomit, which might take your mind off...ermm.....the other end.
Lemon/Blue Cheese Ice (The recipe, from a 1969 Betty Crocker Cookbook, says this is to be served with meats.)
Mix 1 pint lemon sherbet with 1/2 c. crumbled blue cheese. If your meat was rotted or diseased prior to cooking, this is sure to improve it. Otherwise, you're on your own.
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